Drawing ‘em boundaries

I know it is 2021. A new year, a new beginning, and all that jazz. But the virus is still around and so are the norms that we brought into place last year. Our mental health is still not back to what it was before the pandemic. People continue to work longer hours, movement is restricted, nobody has the head-space to accommodate or remember the umpteen things you expect them to. Enough has been written about work-from-home ethics and Zoom call norms, but what about being sensitive to people outside your work circle, i.e., your extended family, acquaintances, basically anybody who’s not your part of your immediate group?

Here are a few things you can maybe keep in mind when you reach out to them -

1. Check on people, ask them how they’re doing before you bombard them with information. Find out what place they are in, mentally, before you proceed to have a conversation. A simple “Hey, good time?” goes a long way

2. Text them before you call. Ask them if you can call at the said time — “ask” being the keyword here

3. Give a preamble of what the conversation is going to be about, so they can be prepared. Suspense is the last thing people want when there’s a virus on the prowl

4. Don’t keep anybody hanging. Don’t add one more thing to their list that would keep them fidgeting. Complete your conversations

5. Don’t take people for granted — draw boundaries for yourself. Learn to accept it gracefully when people give you a no for an answer

6. And when they do say no, don’t push it. Understand they don’t owe you an explanation for excusing themselves out of something you want. You don’t know the head-space they are in, and they are not obligated to share their state of mind with you unless they want to

7. In an era where not having an identity on the internet is considered a catastrophe, social media is the last thing you want to judge somebody by. Don’t assume they are doing okay basis what they post on Instagram/Facebook. Not everybody shares snapshots of their worst days on the web

8. Give people time to get back to your calls/messages/emails. Breathe, and let them breathe. The world is no longer what it used to be

Stay safe!

💙